|
Art of Schmooze: The Authentic Approach to Networking
By Genece Hamby
'Schmooze' is a Yiddish word that denotes a cozy exchange of experiences and ideas. It means to be at ease in any social setting or networking event -- in meeting people anywhere, anytime. Some people think that schmoozing has a different meaning – that it sounds smug, icky, oily, or even slimy. It's a shame when people have that perception of schmoozing. Quite frankly, schmoozing doesn't deserve the bad rap. Anyone that is an 'authentic' schmooze knows that it means to connect with people in a meaningful and authentic way – anywhere, anytime for any reason without expectation of where it might lead. It's being proactive in connecting with others without expecting anything in return -- and as a result, positive things happen for you. Schmoozing is an art form – it's a way of life and a state of mind. At its core, schmoozing is about building relationships and developing a support system. From that perspective, I believe that there are a lot of authentic people that haven't learned how to build a healthy support system – that haven't learned the skills and art of schmoozing. Today, we all need that. We need to build strong, healthy support systems where we show up authentically and discover ways to help each other grow. I believe our very social existence depends on people finding the courage to being an 'authentic' schmooze. The wonderful thing about authenticity is that it cannot be imitated. According to Merriam-Webster, 'authentic' means true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. You can't fake or imitate being authentic - being genuine in who you are. That means you show up in everything you do and everywhere you go as authentic -- the real McCoy.
Now, let's talk about 'networking.' The dictionary defines networking as to meet and exchange information with people in one's business or profession, esp. in order to further one's career. If that's the purpose of networking, then why aren't more people taking advantage of networking?
There are many reasons people don't take advantage of networking. Sometimes it is due to the beliefs we hold about networking. We may misunderstand what networking really is and how to do it. Some of the more common beliefs that prevent people from networking include:
Networking is manipulative, phony or fake. The worst stereotype of networking is the person who approaches any and all network prospects like they are determined to give a sales pitch no one wants to hear. Networking is just to get your foot in the door. Some people have misrepresented their motives for networking. Once they are in front of someone, the 'sales pitch' begins and others feel used or even frustrated being around them.Most networking is like 'cold calling' to people you don't know. For example, attending a networking event where you don't know anyone can feel like cold calling -- making contact with a person who you do not know and who does not know you can produce anxiety.I'm not good in large groups so that limits networking. Let's face it, some of us are more outgoing and comfortable interacting with people. Since networking involves the extroverted business of connecting with people, on the phone or face-to-face, it may be more difficult for those who consider themselves on the 'shy' side.
Here are four 'authentic' schmooze building blocks to help you look at networking from a totally new light:
Schmooze Purpose - Having a schmooze purpose is different than having an agenda or goal. It's the knowing why you want to meet people, the kind of people you want to meet, and being open and proactive in meeting them. For example, my schmooze purpose is very simple – 'I love meeting and expanding my circle of friends.' That purpose guides me in everything I do and everywhere I go. I can be in a grocery store and meet a new friend. So, when I go to a networking event it's no different than going to a grocery store for me -- the same schmooze purpose guides me constantly and opens a lot of doors for me.
Schmooze Attitude - Do you know your schmooze attitude about meeting people? Want to literally change your life -- change your schmooze attitude about connecting with others. How willing are you to let others know you? Yes, part of having a positive schmooze attitude means letting others know you by being approachable That means you've got to step up to the plate, take initiative by turning the key that opens who you are so others get it. Otherwise, people will draw their own conclusions from your silence or unwillingness to share. Being an authentic schmooze means showing up – it means stepping into the no-fear zone!
Interactive Dialogue - Entering into an interactive dialogue with others can literally open many doors of opportunities. Opportunities you might not even think about. Like, learning of a great place to travel, a wonderful new restaurant in town, a book you wouldn't want to miss reading, and more. Interactive dialogue is different than telling. Telling is just that - it's telling people what you do, etc. It's usually one-sided, two-dimensional and offers very little in the way of exchange. Interactive dialogue on the other hand, is an exciting adventure into another person's world besides your own. A world where you can explore vicariously what they've learned in life, where they've traveled, their unique makeup, and how they can enrich your life. Now, doesn't that sound a lot more exciting than just telling people who you are and what you do?
Circle of Friends - How large is your circle of friends? Friends come in all sizes and shapes, colors and attitudes. Friends are the very thing that can enrich our lives and create great diversity. Once you meet new friends, the real secret to enriching your life with more meaning is to stay connected. Take a proactive role in keeping in touch with the people you meet. Yes. We all live busy lives. It's important to remember that the more we build a healthy support system, the greater our opportunities increase for accomplishing our dreams.
To sum it up, learning the art of schmooze and taking an authentic approach to networking will open doors for you. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Go on! Go to that networking event with a new schmooze purpose of meeting new friends. Walk in there with your schmooze attitude turned on! Think about the new world of possibilities you're about to explore with others. Get yourself into meaningful interactive dialogue and participate vicariously! Build your new circle of friends -- one new friend at a time.
Most important -- get rid of the excuses for not going. No more saying, 'It's because I'm an introvert, I'm shy, I hate these events, etc.' Get out there and be a new role model at networking events – show up as an 'authentic' schmooze! You'll one day thank me for it!
Genece Hamby is warmly recognized as the authentic schmooze. She is a personal brand and 'schmooze' coach for entrepreneurs, professionals and soloists. Visit her website or email her at genece@genecehamby.com. > learn more about the role of networking in the personal branding process
|